Turn the Page

Listening to my favorite minister speak today, I was reminded by him of the idea of life as a series of new chapters.  Turn the page, he said, God is there in all the new possibilities.  I needed that reminder so very much.  For Lent, I gave up fear...  But recently it has tried to creep in through the back door.  Change can be full of excitement, hope and expectations where we greet new possibilities.  But change can also cause our hearts to feel "raw" as my friend Macrina said to me today.   This is all so present with me in recent weeks.
In a season of great providential change, my world is radically changing.  From all that has grown to feel secure and comfortable, I am walking with my husband through a door God opened for us.  It involves leaving Alaska, the place we have called home for many years and moving back to Florida.  The change brings bittersweet goodbyes, letting go of attachment to all that is known and saying "yes !" to new pages that are full of unknowns.  I have this habit of turning down page corners in books I read so that I can come back to those favorite pages that resonate with me.  It seems my heart right now wants to turn down some page corners for Alaska.  At the same time, God is beckoning me and my husband to not linger at the well worn pages that are turned down and marked with sentiment.  Instead, God has answered many years of prayer about this opportunity to live in the sunshine and near our daughter and essentially given us the green light to "turn the page".  Living in my empty house with 3 suit cases, my dog Bella and only a bed (everything else is gone in a crate on its way to Florida), I am aware more than ever of what really matters.  My house has become like a quiet monastery.  Each day and night it is me and God.  My husband is 5,000 miles away at his new job. Possessions are in between Alaska and Florida on some truck somewhere.  At work I am slowly passing the torch to three persons who will assume the role I did as one person.  Its all surreal at times.  Other times it is very real.  Today after the carpet steam cleaners left, I stood in my house that will soon be someone elses home and tears streamed down my face.  A chapter is closing.  A new chapter is opening.  And I affirm that THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD, I SHALL NOT WANT...  and my heart claims the truth that my God is Infinite Good and is there with us as we TURN THE PAGE ...